I had something else planned for today but got a request for a post on my notary class from yesterday. I decided to do the Notary post. Zach you owe me a dollar.
For everyone that doesn’t know what a “notary public” is…it’s basically someone who is licensed by the state to watch people sign stuff and make sure that person is who they are. If you buy a house, you need lots of paperwork notarized. If you get divorced, you need notarized paperwork. Lots of stuff needs to get notarized.
I was a notary for many years when I was a manager in San Ramon and have notarized thousands of documents for people. I had let my commission expire and since I just got a new manager position at UPS I needed to get my commission back again.
To get your commission from the Secretary of State you must sit in a class all day and take a test. Last time I did this I was 18 so I don’t really remember it. I do remember having to go the Holiday Inn by the Oakland Coliseum that is no longer open for my test.
Today I sat at the Doubletree in Rohnert Park. Class started at 8:30am…gross! You had to be there before that to sign in, stand around with a bunch of people you don’t know, act cooler to these people than you really are, and sit at a table and listen to a dude talk all day. I showed up at 8:15, signed in, got some free coffee, and acted cool. I probably was the coolest there because I was probably the youngest there. Minus two girls who didn’t have a clue what was going on all day so they don’t count. If they passed and I didn’t I’ll be ticked!
Before we started we had a “get to know the people around you that you will be stuck sitting next to all day” ice breaker. I always think WWJD so I let the people that don’t have good hearing and vision sit up front and be teachers pets. I sat in the second to last row and luckily didn’t have anyone next to me. So I chatted to Sara who was in front of me. Lucky me she happened to be the cutest female in the room…but I had to stare at the back of her head for 8 hours. She had nice hair? She had to renew her notary commission for the bank she works at. No wedding ring on the finger but a nice ring on her right middle finger. What the heck does that mean?
Anyways, class started and Jose went to the front of the hotel conference room and talked to the 50 of us until noon. In all of his example stories he talked about going to Tahoe…he must really like Tahoe. He had a couple lame jokes. I started to boo one but caught myself fast enough that no one heard me over all the cheese laughs. Jose also made 1 or maybe 1.5 racial jokes towards Mexico that only a Mexican could get away with. He was a pretty good teacher.
We were let free for an hour at lunch. By that time I had finally started to wake up and was starving. I downed some lunch and sat in my car in the warm sun for a while. Inside that room it was freezing cold. If I didn’t have my sweatshirt I probably would have died. Seriously it was ridiculous. It was like sitting in a walk-in freezer all day.
After lunch some other dude took over teaching for the afternoon session. It wasn’t the hot chick that taught the class in my dream the night before…so that sucked. I also saw the dude getting out of his truck at lunch and it had a big Giants sticker on the back…so I already didn’t like him. Plus he looked like someone I don’t really care for…so he was already 3 strikes and out. I am kidding…kinda.
This guys teachings were even more detailed on stuff you really don’t need to know but they will test you on anyways. For his examples he used Paris Hilton. You’ve now totally lost my attention buddy. He went a little over his 4:30pm finish time, but it wasn’t bad.
After that they kick you out so they can clean the room and set it up for the test from the Secretary of State. Then you get in line and sign in for your test. Then you sit down and wait. Then you are given 50 minutes to take a test made up of 30 questions on things that will never apply to the notaries you will do. Then you finally leave at 6pm, go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep.
But more on the test first. The people from the Secretary of State are required to be over 70 years old. Not really but I don’t think any of them where younger than that and that’s being nice. Having someone who’s never taken a “fill in the bubble SAT type test” tell you how to fill in the bubble and take the test is kinda funny. I know I had a big goofy smile on my face half of the time. Plus one of the “know it all ladies” from the class cracked a joke about it and thought she was pretty funny too. Gotta love 50 year old women who drive BMW’s and think the world revolves around them. It does, doesn’t it?
Why is it that these 50 year old ladies are the ones whose cell phones go off in class? Oh maybe they are starting to forget things. But the teacher did remind us to silence or turn off our phones many times. Maybe they don’t know how? They also only have one volume on their phones, SUPER FREAKING LOUD! When a middle aged woman’s cell phone goes off, it sounds like a 16 year old kids car stereo driving down the street. Only the music on the phone is something SUPER cheese ball. Bonus points when they pretend it’s not them but you can’t hear the teacher because the music is blasting out of their purse so loud.
I’ve been up for way too long now and am falling asleep so I am done! I hope you felt like you were sitting next to me during my notary class and test. I also hope I didn’t fail, but if I did I blame it all on Twitter.






