Notary Public

I had something else planned for today but got a request for a post on my notary class from yesterday. I decided to do the Notary post. Zach you owe me a dollar.

For everyone that doesn’t know what a “notary public” is…it’s basically someone who is licensed by the state to watch people sign stuff and make sure that person is who they are. If you buy a house, you need lots of paperwork notarized. If you get divorced, you need notarized paperwork. Lots of stuff needs to get notarized.

I was a notary for many years when I was a manager in San Ramon and have notarized thousands of documents for people. I had let my commission expire and since I just got a new manager position at UPS I needed to get my commission back again.

To get your commission from the Secretary of State you must sit in a class all day and take a test. Last time I did this I was 18 so I don’t really remember it. I do remember having to go the Holiday Inn by the Oakland Coliseum that is no longer open for my test.

Today I sat at the Doubletree in Rohnert Park. Class started at 8:30am…gross! You had to be there before that to sign in, stand around with a bunch of people you don’t know, act cooler to these people than you really are, and sit at a table and listen to a dude talk all day. I showed up at 8:15, signed in, got some free coffee, and acted cool. I probably was the coolest there because I was probably the youngest there. Minus two girls who didn’t have a clue what was going on all day so they don’t count. If they passed and I didn’t I’ll be ticked!

Before we started we had a “get to know the people around you that you will be stuck sitting next to all day” ice breaker. I always think WWJD so I let the people that don’t have good hearing and vision sit up front and be teachers pets. I sat in the second to last row and luckily didn’t have anyone next to me. So I chatted to Sara who was in front of me. Lucky me she happened to be the cutest female in the room…but I had to stare at the back of her head for 8 hours. She had nice hair? She had to renew her notary commission for the bank she works at. No wedding ring on the finger but a nice ring on her right middle finger. What the heck does that mean?

Anyways, class started and Jose went to the front of the hotel conference room and talked to the 50 of us until noon. In all of his example stories he talked about going to Tahoe…he must really like Tahoe. He had a couple lame jokes. I started to boo one but caught myself fast enough that no one heard me over all the cheese laughs. Jose also made 1 or maybe 1.5 racial jokes towards Mexico that only a Mexican could get away with. He was a pretty good teacher.

We were let free for an hour at lunch. By that time I had finally started to wake up and was starving. I downed some lunch and sat in my car in the warm sun for a while. Inside that room it was freezing cold. If I didn’t have my sweatshirt I probably would have died. Seriously it was ridiculous. It was like sitting in a walk-in freezer all day.

After lunch some other dude took over teaching for the afternoon session. It wasn’t the hot chick that taught the class in my dream the night before…so that sucked. I also saw the dude getting out of his truck at lunch and it had a big Giants sticker on the back…so I already didn’t like him. Plus he looked like someone I don’t really care for…so he was already 3 strikes and out. I am kidding…kinda.

This guys teachings were even more detailed on stuff you really don’t need to know but they will test you on anyways. For his examples he used Paris Hilton. You’ve now totally lost my attention buddy. He went a little over his 4:30pm finish time, but it wasn’t bad.

After that they kick you out so they can clean the room and set it up for the test from the Secretary of State. Then you get in line and sign in for your test. Then you sit down and wait. Then you are given 50 minutes to take a test made up of 30 questions on things that will never apply to the notaries you will do. Then you finally leave at 6pm, go home, eat dinner, and go to sleep.

But more on the test first. The people from the Secretary of State are required to be over 70 years old. Not really but I don’t think any of them where younger than that and that’s being nice. Having someone who’s never taken a “fill in the bubble SAT type test” tell you how to fill in the bubble and take the test is kinda funny. I know I had a big goofy smile on my face half of the time. Plus one of the “know it all ladies” from the class cracked a joke about it and thought she was pretty funny too. Gotta love 50 year old women who drive BMW’s and think the world revolves around them. It does, doesn’t it?

Why is it that these 50 year old ladies are the ones whose cell phones go off in class? Oh maybe they are starting to forget things. But the teacher did remind us to silence or turn off our phones many times. Maybe they don’t know how? They also only have one volume on their phones, SUPER FREAKING LOUD! When a middle aged woman’s cell phone goes off, it sounds like a 16 year old kids car stereo driving down the street. Only the music on the phone is something SUPER cheese ball. Bonus points when they pretend it’s not them but you can’t hear the teacher because the music is blasting out of their purse so loud.

I’ve been up for way too long now and am falling asleep so I am done! I hope you felt like you were sitting next to me during my notary class and test. I also hope I didn’t fail, but if I did I blame it all on Twitter.

Share

Conversation With My Cousin

My 10 year old cousin, Jackson is visiting for the summer from Washington. Here is our conversation from around 10:30pm a few nights ago.

Jack: Chris your talking is causing me to not be able to sleep.

Chris: Sorry sir, I was letting Sam(my dog) out. (I had said, “Sam wanna go out?”)

Jack: But I can not sleep when you are talking.

Chris: I understand but I was done talking until you started talking to me.

Jack: But when you talk I can’t sleep.

Chris: The longer you’d like to continue repeating yourself the longer you will keep yourself up Jack.

Jack: But your talking is keeping me up and not letting me sleep.

Chris: Laughs. Walks away.

Just like it’s sometimes best to laugh and walk away when talking to a female, a lot of times it’s also best to laugh and walk away when talking to a ten year old. Just my two cents.

Share

LAPD Bomb Squad Removes Live Bombs

The LAPD bomb squad removed two live Korean War-era military bombs from a house last week after a man cleaning his parents garage found them. Um where on earth does someone get live bombs? How on earth does one transport them to their house? And who on earth keeps them in their garage in LA? They had to of been just an earthquake away from going off. Maybe they didn’t want to stick around after the next big earthquake hits LA? Anyone else in LA have any old bombs laying around?

Share

World Cup Soccer

Is anyone else as glad as I am that the World Cup is over? America is a country that has not ever cared about watching soccer, but now all of a sudden everyone seems to watch it. I have one friend who is the exception to this post because he’s from England and has always followed soccer, but everyone else…not so much. My twitter and facebook feeds have been filled with play by play updates of how the players are always crying or faking some kind of injury. I think whoever invented soccer was probably a lawyer because soccer players seem to s t r e t c h the truth a lot. Anyways I think the picture above sums everything up. Just my two cents.

Share

New Church Worship

I attended a new church here in Santa Rosa this week. Going to a new church by yourself and where you know no one can be very intimidating. No wonder it’s so hard for people who move to find a new place of fellowship. It’s funny how one can be so intimidated in a new place of worship that teaches God’s message of loving one another.

Maybe it’s because a lot of churches just flat out don’t feel very welcoming to someone new. Maybe there are a thousand other people in the room and you don’t know where to begin to find out information about the churches beliefs and ministries because the lobby is the size of a football field and there are a million different things and signs pointing in every direction.

Or maybe there are only a hand full of people that all know each other and they all know you are the new guy. So everyone stares at you and watches your every move shaking their heads at you for playing with your iPhone in church. But really you are reading the Bible and taking notes in Evernote from the sermon with your phone. (I brought my Bible but took notes on my iPhone)

A lot of churches don’t feel very welcoming, but yesterday this church did. Not only did the speaking pastor look and even sound like John Ortberg, but the worship was great. If someone goes to a new church and has to sit through a painfully awful band butchering 4 or 5 songs, they probably won’t come back the following week. They might not even make it to the message if it’s bad enough. And maybe the pastor really looks and sounds nothing like John Ortberg, but in my mind he did. I am talking about the worship anyways. Here are the 3 key reasons I liked it.

1. The drummer. He was good! A band is only as good as the drummer who holds them together. If the drummer is sloppy or offbeat it brings everything down. This drummer was tight in his transitions and fills and played real drums, which helps a lot. I can’t stand listening to electric drums! Thumbs up drummer.

2. The violin player. Yes I said violin player. There was someone playing electric violin with the band and they were really good at it. It wasn’t boring and out of place, but unique and creative. Much like Yellowcard. The violinist really added to the sound and style of the band…dug it! Thumbs up violinist.

3. Boy band headset mic man. The main worship leader was wearing a boy band headset mic while he played guitar and sang. This didn’t improve the sound or quality of the band at all, but I give him props for having the guts to be like one of the Back Street Boys and wear that thing while leading others in worship on stage. Funny to me. Thumbs up boy band man.

Share

Iran

Have you ever been mad at your parents for not allowing you to get that mohawk or mullet haircut you always wanted and end up getting stuck with the much goofier looking bull cut they wanted? At least you don’t live in Iran…

This past week the country of Iran issued a new list of “culturally appropriate haircuts” for men. Welcome to Super Cuts, please pick from one of the six options on our handy hair chart. I am sure hair stylists get bored pretty quick over there.

And yet I read this week of even another reason why Americans should be glad they don’t live in Iran. They stone people to death for committing adultery! Don’t get me wrong I think adultery is a horrible thing to do to something, but from what I’ve read around 30% of people in America commit adultery in marriage.

From January till June of 2010 there were at least 126 executions recorded in Iran which happens to be a country one-forth the size of the United States which only had 25 executions recorded in the same period of time. The article also states that the majority of those sentenced to death by stoning are women.

That leads me to my question. Do we have a right as humans to decide if something should live or die? I used to be a supporter of capital punishment (for murder not adultery of course) but lately I don’t know where I stand. At least if you are going to do it just give the person a shot like the vet does with your pet. Isn’t it punishment enough that a persons life is taken from them weather or not they did something that we think is ground for being put to death? Thoughts?

I am thankful I don’t live in Iran.

Share

Review – “Change Your Church For Good”

“Every week, more and more people walk away from church-not because they don’t believe but because church has become irrelevant to their lives.” Brad Powell author or “Change Your Church For Good”

Have you walked away from church or seen friends or family walk away? If so, this book is a great read. Brad is open and honest about his church that was dying and how it turned around. Stop sitting back and waiting for change to happen, read this book and make the change happen yourself!

Change Your Church For Good, Revised

Share

MXPX

Yesterday MXPX announced that drummer, Yuri Ruley would be retiring to focus on raising his family as the band plans to scale back on touring. Yuri was one of the founding members of MXPX that just celebrated 18 years together as a band. He also happens to be one of the nicest guys in music I’ve met.

In November of 1996 a cassette tape called “Life In General” by MXPX changed my life. One might think it’s funny that a punk rock album, or any album for that matter, could really change someones life…But “Life In General” did change mine! What I originally purchased on cassette tape I would eventually buy several times on CD. The album still remains #1 on my list of favorite albums and track #11 “Today Is In My Way” still remains one of my all time favorite songs.

Before Life In General my music tastes were stuck in the Christian bubble of cheesy CCM bands. The first time I heard Life In General it was like hearing music for the first time. It was fast, melodic, and during the life changing time of puberty, the lyrics spoke to me as if they were written directly to me. Starting out with the first five words of the album, “emotion, is my middle name.” Opening my ears to a completely new style of music lead me to explore other music styles and bands. I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for Life In General, I would not have the same wide respect and taste for music as I do today.

Not only did the lyrics positively affect my life, but the band also drove me to become a musician. First starting on bass and moving onto guitar by learning MXPX songs from tabs online. I would not be the musician I am today (not that I am a good one) had I not started playing MXPX songs in my room over 10 years ago.

18 years and 2.5 million records sold…99.9% of bands only dream of that kind of success and MXPX had it. They don’t act or live like big time rock stars with big houses and lots of cars but they have done what they love for over half of their lives. Again something most people only dream about.

I’ve seen the band play around a dozen amazing live shows over the years. So even with them not touring full-time anymore, I can still see them play festivals and one-off shows as well as hear the new music they release. Their story doesn’t end today. Yuri’s time and story with the band may end but the impact the 3 members of MXPX had in my life will last a lifetime.

What about you? What album was life changing for you?

Share

Just My Two Cents

San Francisco bans coke from city vending machines At first I thought this was a joke but I guess if the city is paying for its workers health insurance they should be able to help fight obesity which increases their health care costs right? But if you are obese and like it you are going to bring your can of regular Coke to work anyway right? If they really want to fight obesity make their workers pay a premium on their health care for being overweight. That might get people into shape.

WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU TO FAIL “I know so many people these days that seem unwilling to step out and try something new for fear of making a mistake.” <– That would be me…I fail!

“The person who doesn’t make mistakes, is unlikely to make anything.” – Paul Arden

Women drive most faith participation Really men? How can you be the spiritual head of your household when you are too busy having your head up your butt? Just wondering…

We Have More Control Than We Think “You and I have 100% control of the one thing that is the most important to our success: ourselves.” I am practicing control over myself by putting myself to bed shortly after 1am. Tonight I win…tomorrow, maybe not.

The Problem with Honesty “But sometimes I wonder what society would look like if all of us were brutally honest all the time. We might have clear consciences and satisfied intellects. But would we have any friends? Would we live in chaos?”

Why is it so hard for us to live our lives and be honest in the process? Are we trying to impress people by making ourselves look better than we really are? Check. Do we not want to hurt people? Check. But for the most part I think when we are not honest, it’s generally to benefit ourselves and not others. Check. Can you be not be honest and still benefit others?

Just my two cents.

Share

I Like Weather