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ESPN / Yankee Partnership?

August 9, 2010 in dear..., my rants with 0 Comments

I’ll be the first to admit it, I think boycotts are generally pretty lame. But last night I took part in a boycott and it felt good. Do I think it did anything? No. But I refuse to be apart of the system, so it felt good. The system being the evil empire aka the new york yankees and their affair with ESPN.

You see, ESPN has decided to jump in bed with the evil empire and has decided to do so quite frequently. I find this to be quite sad. I find it said because I enjoy ESPN. I enjoy Baseball Tonight and I enjoy the Sunday Night Baseball Game of the Week. Let me rephrase that. I did enjoy Sunday Night Baseball.

I enjoyed SNB back before every other game was a Yankees game. OK not every other game is, but I think there have been about 19 so far this season and at least 5 of them have been Yankees games if I am doing my math right. Maybe it’s 6. Does this not make anyone else sick? Let’s promote the biggest, wealthiest, evilest franchise in baseball some more why don’t we? Great plan ESPN…NOT!

The thing I did love about the game of the week was that I got to see a different match up from around the country every Sunday night. Braves and Mets. Cards and Cubs. Tigers and Indians. Giants and Dodgers. Phillies and Mets. Yankees and Red Sox.

Now it’s Yankees and Red Sox. Yankees and Red Sox. Yankees and Red Sox. And despite what 99% of Yankees and Red Sox fans think, not everyone in America likes either the Yankees or the Red Sox. In fact, most people hate both of them!

I am a fan of baseball. I enjoy seeing the different rivalries. SNB allows me to see at least one game a week that isn’t my favorite team playing and I like that. I mean it did allow me and I did like it, before ESPN got in bed with the evil empire that is. It’s time for change ESPN. Our president thinks so, so how about you? My letter to you is below.

Dear ESPN,

Please bring back SNB how it used to be. One extra Yankees vs. Red Sox match up a year is OK, but mix it up! I understand the evil empire probably pays you way more money than any other team would even think about to give them the national spotlight every week, but stop! Stop being apart of their system. Stop jumping in their bed so often. Bring back games from all over the country that people in different areas care about, not just a few people in the northeast. It’s time for change ESPN. It’s time.

Die-hard baseball fan and former ESPN fan,
Chris

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Baserunning 101

June 29, 2010 in dear... with 0 Comments

Dear San Francisco Giants,

I would like to thank you for not teaching your third basemen Pablo Sandoval how to run the bases very well. I knew how to run the bases better than him when I was five! Your team lost to the Dodgers again but I am sure you still made a lot of money with ad revenue from Panda Express and selling panda hats at the game. side note: Panda Express I love your food…hook me up!

If you want I can come down to the park and teach Pablo, sorry “The Panda” how to run the bases. No pressure and I won’t charge a lot either. Once he’s passed my baserunning class, you can start marketing the “Learn To Run The Bases Like The Panda ” classes sponsored by Panda Express and taught by The Panda. Big $$$ there people! I’ll only ask for 10% of gross income.

Anyways just wanted to say thanks for helping the Dodgers win Monday night…we needed it after Sunday nights meltdown in LA.

Sincerely Your Favorite Dodger Fan,
Chris Loach

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Dear Loud People Two Doors Down

June 28, 2010 in dear... with 0 Comments

Dear Loud People Two Doors Down,

It’s midnight on Sunday night/Monday morning and you are blasting your Mexican music that I think sounds like the same song being played over and over again. Did Mexico win the World Cup game today? Just checked on that and Argentina handed you a 3-1 loss so you must not be having a party for that. I can now hear you trying and I do mean trying to sing to the music as well. Seriously bro, one too many Corona Lights…drink some water!

Well it’s not like I really had a hard day or anything. Woke up at 9:30, went to church, “fellowshiped” after church. Buffalo Wild Wings with the bff and his gf for lunch. Goodbyes to Miss Rodman who happens to be the coolest teacher at VCE I know…or I guess “former teacher” now. Pool, BBQ, pool, look a big snake by the pool, more pool. Drive home and get a grilled cheese and strawberry shake from In & Out on the way…fat. But now I am really, really tired and I want to go to sleep early tonight. Do you really need to play your music so loud and so late?

You know I have a dog that weighs as much as I do right? I know you know because I’ve walked him by your house before and he told me the roosters in the front yard look tasty. He also happens to eat soccer balls for breakfast. I do have to take him to the vet at like noon to get his shots so he’s getting his beauty sleep now, but I am sending him over to your house in 5 minutes to drink your beer, eat your soccer balls and roosters, and then pee on your stereo. Don’t believe me? Look at the picture below.

Maybe I sound bitter? Do I? Maybe it’s heat. Or it could be my allergies that have decided to continue to love me way too long this year. Perhaps it’s that my Dodgers lost tonight which means I lost a bet as well. Ok so I am a little bitter about a few things but I am also very thankful that you aren’t listening to Lil Jon. If I had to listen to him repeat the only three words he knows, “OK!, What?!, and Yeah!” as I fall asleep tonight I just might go a little crazy.

From your friendly neighbor down the street,
Chris

PS
I am glad you knew I was writing this and you turned off your music. Thanks and don’t let it happen again!

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