If you’ve been to Disneyland with me, you’ve probably taken part “Rapture Practice” on Tower of Terror. (Side note: I obviously have the best form in this photo and the worker that rode with us probably isn’t going to heaven. Just kidding, please don’t send me angry e-mails. End side note)
Some of you my ask, what is rapture practice? You see, some church that is probably in the south decided it would be good to train it’s members for the rapture. It’s happening in 2012 right? Anyways, they would teach their members the proper way to pose when they heard the rapture was happening. So like you turn on the news and homeboy is telling everyone the rapture has started so you better get in your rapture position cause I think that’s how it’s going to happen.
Now I am not totally sure what the point of the rapture position is, but I am pretty sure it’s to be sent straight up as fast as possible. And if you are in the most straight up and aerodynamic position possible, you will probably be one of the first ones to get sucked into heaven.
I decided it would be a good idea to teach this position to a bus full of high school students while at Disneyland. Throughout our visit to the park I would call out “Rapture Practice” at any given time to make sure everyone around us knew we were part of a really weird Christian youth group. Ok that’s not the real reason, it’s just really fun seeing a bunch of students drop their food and do the same thing at once so everyone else at Pizza Port wonders what the heck is going on.
A few days ago I came across the picture below. It might be the funniest Christian product I’ve ever seen. I can’t figure out if it’s real or not because the website isn’t working, but I would not at all be surprised if it was real. Nor would I be surprised if my dad was getting one of these hatches installed as I type. I kid…kinda.
So, what do you think? Should I get into the rapture hatch installation business before Pat Roberston falsely predicts the rapture, again? 1, 2, 3, rapture practice!
PS Do you walk in place when you get sucked up?
