I talk about poop a lot. Not on my blog, but in real life. I have a lot of good poop stories so I decided I should start talking about them on here. Don’t worry today’s story is just about toilet paper, the magical thing that comes after the poop.
Last night I was sitting on the toilet playing Angry Birds and Tweeting when I had a moment like the picture above. Don’t worry I had just enough left, but it could have been pretty bad. So I headed over to Target to pickup some TP for my coffee poop the next morning. aka today.
Has anyone bought toilet paper lately? So much work! There is toilet paper stacked 7 feet high and 40 feet long. Single roll, double roll, triple roll, mega roll, super mega roll, extreme roll. Extra soft, extra hard, super strength, no strength, single ply, double ply, triple ply, mega ply. 1 roll = 2 normal rolls, 1 roll = 2 double rolls, 1 roll = 2 triple rolls. Then you gotta look at the sales and figure it all out. OK so are 24 double rolls for $9.99 cheaper than 18 triple rolls for $8.99? See, a lot of work!
Last time I bought TP at Target I got stuck between a brother and sister arguing over extra soft or extra strength. They wanted me to decide which was better for them. I told them sorry but I am not going to decide which is better for your rear-end. It’s like Coke or Pepsi. Obviously Coke is the right choice but if you gotta be all different from everyone else and go Pepsi then so be it.
There is no real point to this story other than the fact that buying TP is a hard thing to do. I went with like 30 rolls of something that is extra soft, strong and double and on sale! So I win right? Seriously, see how hard it is to buy TP next time you go and thank me after for making it harder.
Sometimes it would be easier to have a bathroom like this.
Get it right people!
Zing!
My elementary school had single ply square toilet paper and you had to get a bunch of squares and crumple them into a ball to make it work. My elementary school also happens to be the place where I saw the biggest turd of my life that was left behind in the bowl. It probably was a 6th grader or the custodian, but it also might have just looked so big because I was in second grade. Either way, I still remember it to this day due to the fear that that thing came out of someone.
