It was one year ago today that I was sitting in the front row at the California Mid-State Fair in Paso Robles watching and singing along with Carrie Underwood. Did I just really admit to singing along? The picture above is proof that my fat face was there. Below is my letter to Carrie and to my friends officially announcing my love for her is officially dead.
Dear Carrie
Or should I call you Mrs Fisher now? Or Mrs Underwood-Fisher? Of course I’ll use the – in between since all the celebrities do that when they get married. Either way, it doesn’t really matter to me cause it’s the wrong last name. But that’s now your problem, not mine.
It was a year ago at your show when you proudly claimed that you were single and loved your dog. You then winked, waved, and smiled at me when asking where the single guys where at. Less than a year later you are married to some hockey player. What the heck? Maybe missing teeth is a turn on for some women, but I thought that was only the case in Canada and Russia.
I’ll admit there were crushes before you, Britney and Avril. But I was young and didn’t know any better. They couldn’t sing or play guitar like you. My dad made me take down my Britney Spears posters when I was 16 anyways. He would have never made me take down posters of someone like you.
I’ll also admit that I didn’t watch American Idol but I knew who you were. When your first album came out I picked it up. 4 minutes and 5 seconds into the first song when your voice hits that note was all it took for me to fall head over heals. I am now a fan of country music because of you. Thanks…I think?
Last year, July 22, 2009 at that fair in the middle of California. Remember it? I was almost center stage, very front row, and just inches away. I could have jumped on stage and got on my knee right there, but I didn’t. I had my chance and I blew it! You winked and waved at me and I just stood there in front of my seat. It was the happiest moment in my life, yet I did nothing but get a picture. But now less than a year later, you are married. Married to someone not named me!
I had my chance and I blew it. The younger, less mature Chris would say something like, “I’ll be waiting when he breaks your heart.” But I won’t say that because, I’ve moved on. I wish the best for you and your marriage, I really do. But please don’t come crawling back looking for a second chance, cause you won’t get one.
With that said, this is my goodbye. My announcement to the world that Carrie Underwood is dead to me and will no longer be talked about with or around me. RIP
Sincerely,
That guy who’s heart you played and left for dead, Chris.
PS I will still buy all your albums even though your third one wasn’t as good as the first two. Just sayin. The End.
Edit: This is very sarcastic and written to sound like a stalker…but for reals, no more talking about her.
Advertising Affiliate
