My Days As A Dad

Chris  —  September 16, 2014 — Leave a comment

My days have changed a bit.

My playlist now includes this…

nick lachey days

My reading list now includes this…

handling tips days

And my hobbies now include this…

huggies days

There are some poopy diapers and spit up in my days as well. My life as a dad is very different than before, but I wouldn’t change it for anything! I love my baby girl!

Thank You!

Chris  —  September 14, 2014 — Leave a comment

Baby Addie is home, happy, and healthy.

addie

Mom is home, happy, and healthy too! Thank you to the thousands of texts, Tweets, and Facebook/Instagram comments that I have not had time to reply to…sorry…I’ve got a baby to look after. Also…I am not sorry for the mass amounts of pictures, posts, and Tweets…I am just a very happy dad! I am looking forward to sleeping in my bed tonight. Or at least laying on my bed between diaper changes (Addie’s diapers, not mine).

I Am A Father!

Chris  —  September 12, 2014 — 1 Comment

Welcome to the world Addie!

Full Name: Adalynn Gale Loach

Born: September 12, 2014 at 9:36pm

Stats: 7 pounds 5 ounces 20 inches long.

Erika woke up with strong contractions at 5:45am. I worked this morning and we headed to the hospital around noon. We got admitted a couple of hours later and everyone is doing good now!

We greatly appreciate all of the name suggestions from our small group…but no one got it right.

Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers, and love everyone sent our way!

My little girl is here and I am beyond excited to be her dad!

Have you ever had someone open their mouth and ruin everything?

I am sure we have all had those “I liked you a lot better before you started talking” moments. I think it’s funny when they happen.

I came across a draft of a blog post from a couple of years ago that I never published. I decided to finish and publish it today. Enjoy!

A few days ago I was helping a customer at work. While I was helping him I was trying to look at his full sleeve tattoos. Some I liked, others I didn’t care for, but there was one that stuck out to me…it said “Prov 13:3″.

I was just about to ask the customer what Prov 13:3 said when he started dropped several f-bombs. He had forgotten something at home and was real “f-ing” mad about it. I tried to make light of the situation as he was clearly having a bad day, but decided I wasn’t going to ask him what the verse was.

When he left the store I looked up the verse and immediately wished I HAD asked him!

Proverbs 13:3 Ruin

I laughed out loud while reading that verse. “Proverbs 13:3 (NLT) Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.”

It was funny but also kind of sad. Maybe he had a hard time with words and got the tattoo as a reminder to be careful when he opens his mouth? I don’t know the story behind it.

Did his words bother me? No…not at all. He was nice to me and he was obviously having a bad day. Who knows what our conversation would have been like if I had asked him what the verse was…cause he opened his mouth and ruined the conversation before it started.

Please don’t misread this…I am clearly no better than him. I have ruined everything by opening my mouth more times than I can count. That’s part of the reason I decided to start this blog over and leave a lot of dumb stuff I’ve said behind.

Have you ever opened your mouth and ruined everything?

How to Make Life Better

Chris  —  September 9, 2014 — Leave a comment

A few life hacks to improve your life better.

Tripp and Tyler want to help you out with life. Check out their new video below…it’s “Guaranteed to make you laugh or not laugh at least twice, guaranteed.”

The funny guys also have a new book coming out called Stuff You Should Know About Stuff: How to Properly Behave in Certain Situations 

The cover alone makes me want to buy it! I hate it when the guy with the bow tie in the office next to mine tries to strike up conversation at the urinal. #notcool I am hoping there is a chapter on pregnancy too!

life

#PrincessLoach Betting Pool

Chris  —  September 8, 2014 — 46 Comments

Welcome to the #PrincessLoach Betting Pool!

#PrincessLoach

No. #PrincessLoach is not going to be born in a pool. But please place your guess as to when you think she will be born in the comments below. The winner will even receive a cool prize!

It works like this…comment below with your guess of the date, time, and weight of #PrincessLoach. Whoever is the closest to the real date/time that she is born will win a prize. The weight will be a tiebreaker if needed. Her “official” due date is Sep 13th, but she could be here any minute now. Good luck!

Rules:
Must guess in the comment section below.
Only one guess per person.
Must include date/time/weight for entry to be valid.
Open to US residents only.
Void were prohibited.

Pregnancy is a crazy thing!

During pregnancy women’s bodies go through all kinds of crazy changes…most of which don’t seem anywhere close to normal. For some reason…pregnancy also makes other people and even strangers do and say things that aren’t anywhere close to normal.

pregnancy

Before she was pregnant, my wife never had random strangers walk up and touch her stomach. If someone randomly touched my belly without asking, I’d backhand them.

For some reason when people are near pregnant women, all social standards go out the window. It’s almost as if anyone who is around someone who is pregnant suffers from pregnancy brain as well. They don’t. They just lack self-control.

One of the things I love about my wife is…she is MUCH nicer than I am! She normally just smiles or laughs at the ridiculous things people say to her. I however would reply much differently to things people do and say if I was the one who was pregnant.

“Oh my gosh you are HUGE!” – Thanks for the self-esteem boost! I was only feeling slightly to kinda large today.

“You look like you are going to pop!” – I am going to give birth, not pop…but I might pop you in the face.

“You must be due any day now.” – Still 2 months away…when are you due?

“It must be a boy since you are carrying all out front” – I didn’t know you were a doctor? It’s a girl. #fail

“Are you allowed to drink Starbucks?” – I am! And since we are all doctors here, you probably shouldn’t be drinking that Starbucks!

“Are you going to breastfeed?” – Wouldn’t you like to know? Perv!

“You’ll never fit in the same jeans again.” – I am using self-control with this reply.

“Was it planned or a surprise?” – Total surprise! I didn’t know you could get pregnant from having sex!

“I think you should name your baby insert dumb name here.” – I think you should have a baby if you want to name one so bad.

“Oh you are due on the 13th? You should wait till the 27th, it’s my birthday!” – That’s why I don’t want her born on the 27th.

What is the craziest thing you’ve seen or heard someone say to someone who is pregnant?

Dear Church, Part 1

Chris  —  September 6, 2014 — Leave a comment

Dear Church,

I haven’t stepped foot in a church building in years. I always hear people around town talking about how great your pastor is. A lot of my friends attend your services and love them.

I am starting to take small steps towards attending a service. I followed your church and pastor on Twitter. I had planned on watching your service online next week. I didn’t even know you could “attend” church online.

The other day I started seeing your pastor tweet a lot of weird things. The thing is…I am not even sure what it is I do or don’t believe right now.

After several weird tweets, I saw him post this: “New Sermon Series starting this week. Bring your Bible, you’re going to need it!”

I don’t own a Bible. Do I have to bring one to attend your service? Am I going to feel like everyone is looking at me since I won’t have a Bible?

I am not trying to cause any trouble. I am just trying to figure this whole “church thing” out.

Sincerely,
Someone Seeking Something

Dear Church

Too many times the church wants you to believe and behave before they will let you feel like you can belong.

One thing I love that’s different at Two Cities Church is this…you can feel like you belong even if you aren’t sure what it is you believe or how you should behave.

When our doors open Sunday morning for service and throughout the week in our homes…we make sure we are a place that EVERYONE can belong, so they are comfortable on their journey in finding out what it is they do believe.

Is your church somewhere that people can belong before they believe?

Double Stuf Oreos

Chris  —  September 5, 2014 — Leave a comment

I love Double Stuf Oreos!

Unfortunately I don’t eat Double Stuf Oreos like I used to. Turning 30 has made me cut back on my junk food habit. It really should have stopped before 25…but it didn’t.

Well into my 20s, I could eat 8 to 10 Double Stuf Oreos at midnight everyday and still not gain a single pound. People hated me for it. But it’s not like I wasn’t eating. I was eating a lot…and eating A LOT of junk.

Somewhere around my 25th birthday I started noticing that my junk food habit was catching up to me. Maybe my love of Oreos? Or good beer? Or my extreme feelings towards exercise? (not good feelings…I don’t like working out at all) Along with getting older, it was probably a little of everything. My eating habits and lack of exercise were catching up to me.

double stuf oreos

Everything blew up on Easter Sunday this year. I threw a major temper tantrum. Like a spoiled kid without his cake…I was that bratty kid and I was mad!

My wonderful, beautiful, and very caring wife had picked something out for me to wear to church Easter morning. (Having a wife is a good thing. Without her, I’d still be wearing the same pair of shorts and t-shirt everyday of the week.) My wife likes me to look more than just decent, and I appreciate that. Only I didn’t appreciate it that Sunday morning.

The shirt she had picked out for me no longer fit my growing belly. I needed to find something else to iron and I needed to find it fast! We needed to be out the door in less than a minute if we were going to be on time.

I spent that minute acting like the spoiled kid without his cake…screaming and yelling at myself as I threw my clothes around our bedroom. The bigger problem was…it sounded more like I was yelling at my wife for a problem that wasn’t hers, but clearly my own. #HusbandFail

After feeling pretty stupid for the way I acted that that morning, I decided to do something about the 20+ pounds I had gained in the less than 2 years we had been married for at that time.

So I downloaded an app called My Fitness Pal and started tracking EVERYTHING I ate. While using the app I discovered that I REALLY like food!

Oh wifey made cupcakes…I should have 2!
It’s 10pm and I am about to go to bed…I should have a bowl of cereal first!
We are at a Mexican restaurant…I should eat the entire basket of free chips and salsa plus a margarita AND a huge plate of dinner!

My dinner alone would end up being more calories than I needed to eat the entire day!

But I stuck with it. I entered everything I ate into the app and rarely went over my daily limit of calories. I turned down invite after invite to have a second helping of baked goods. I stopped eating after dinner. I stopped putting cream in my coffee.

In two short months I had dropped 15 pounds…and I didn’t even workout once! I am also no longer having the spoiled kid without his cake meltdowns! I am sure my wife is happy about that.

Sometimes getting older is hard work.

When was the last time you acted like a spoiled kid without their cake?

starting over

I first started blogging on ChrisLoach.com in 2005. I also turned 21 that year.

A lot has changed since 2005.

On the night of my 21st birthday, I sat in a hot tub with a few friends and drank a tall 24oz can of Budweiser that the cashier at 7-Eleven did not want to sell me. He told me I had to wait till the day after my birthday to really be 21 and purchase alcohol.

After several minutes of arguing in circles and some persuading by one of the stores snack vendors that the cashier seemed to trust…I walked out with my brown paper bag and can of Bud.

A lot has changed since 2005.

For starters, I wouldn’t be caught drinking Budweiser…unless someone was paying me good money to drink the water flavored beer known as the “king”. And if I am being totally honest…I didn’t even drink the whole can that night in the hot tub and dumped half of it in the bushes when my friends weren’t looking cause it tasted so gross.

The only other time I can remember drinking a Budweiser after my 21st birthday was a few months later when my buddy ordered one for me at dinner. He ordered it knowing very well that I would drink it with a smile as I sat across the table from a few friends who thought anyone who drank alcohol was going straight to hell.

A lot has changed since 2005.

I am in my “30s” now (weird). I weigh a lot more now. I am no longer single and looking to mingle. I am expecting my first child to be born any day now. Meow that’s a lot of change!

2014 Chris is A LOT different from 2005 Chris.

A few months ago I was in the process of relaunching my blog and was switching my hosting to BlueHost. (Web hosts are companies that provide space on a server for use by clients, as well as providing Internet connectivity. Also, my favorite color is blue.)

Long story short…while transferring my website I transferred all of my posts, but not all of the pictures that went with the posts. I then deleted the database of pictures from my old host before figuring out that my photo database didn’t transfer to my new host. #epicfail

This epic fail turned out to be a good one. I was given the chance to reset and start over. Over 100,000 words and 900 posts have been deleted. (I do have a backup of them if I ever need a good laugh…minus the pictures of course.) Some posts were funny. Some were serious. But most were just lots of nonsense.

I am sure I will post more bad fart jokes, rants about Prius drivers, and even things that make it look like I’ve got everything all figured out. But right now I get to reset and start over.